For couples
Quitting porn, together.
Two people end up on this page. The one quitting, and the one deciding how to help without becoming a warden. This is the honest version of how couples make it work, the setup, the conversation, and what each side carries.
The setup that respects both of you
The most useful structure a couple can build takes ten minutes. Escape blocks the sites and, on iPhone, every browser. Apple's Screen Time locks the app against deletion, and the partner holds the passcode. That one arrangement changes the shape of a weak moment, turning blocking off stops being a private tap and becomes a conversation. No surveillance, no reports, no one reading anyone's phone. The deletion-lock setup is here.
For the one quitting
The work is yours, and the app is built for it. The blocker, the 90-second urge ritual, and the courses, including Rebuilding Intimacy, written for exactly this stretch of a relationship. Your recovery data stays on your phone. Your partner holds the passcode, not a window into your head. Escape is on the App Store, free to start, no account.
For the partner
Your side is real work too, and pretending otherwise is how resentment builds. The partner guides cover discovery, the conversation, the is-it-cheating question, and the honest piece on when to leave. The Honest Aftermath course walks the rebuild from your side.
What not to do
Checking their phone, reading their history, demanding reports. It feels like safety and works like acid. The evidence on surveillance in relationships is not kind, and every check quietly says I do not believe you. Hold the passcode, agree on honesty, and let the structure do the watching. The longer answer is here.
Common questions
Can a relationship survive a porn problem?
Often, yes, though not by pretending it is nothing. It usually takes honest disclosure, real change from the person quitting, and time for trust to rebuild. We have a full honest piece on when it works and when it does not.
How can I help my partner quit porn?
Support works best as structure, not surveillance. Hold the Screen Time passcode so blocking cannot be quietly undone, agree on what honesty looks like, and let them own the daily work. Checking their phone for them rarely helps either of you.
Should I hold the passcode for my partner's blocker?
It is one of the most useful things a partner can do. When you hold the Screen Time passcode, turning blocking off stops being a private decision made at a weak moment and becomes a conversation. That is friction exactly where it helps.
Does Escape have a couples mode?
No, by design. Escape has no accounts, so there is nothing to link and no report a partner can receive. The couples part happens outside the app, one person holds the passcode, and the app holds the blocking. Recovery data stays private to the person doing the work.
Is watching porn cheating?
Couples land in genuinely different places on this, and the research will not settle it for you. What matters is that the two of you agree on where the line is. We have an honest piece that walks through how couples actually resolve this.
Start wherever you are. Whether it can survive, how to tell them, or quitting while together.