Posts
Writing on porn recovery.
Long pieces and short notes on the science, the design, and the experience of quitting. Written for the inside of someone's head at 11pm. 72 posts.
The history of porn, from stone-age figurines to the infinite feed
Humans have made sexual images for 35,000 years, on every medium we ever invented. What's new isn't the wanting, it's the supply. The honest history.
How to make a porn blocker you can't just delete in a weak moment (iPhone)
On iPhone, no app can truly stop you from deleting it, and any blocker that claims otherwise is overpromising. Here is the honest two-layer setup that actually …
Are recovery apps actually worth it, or a waste of money?
Most recovery apps are a waste of money. A few are worth it. Here is the honest line between an app that actually helps you change and one that just charges you…
Every other porn blocker can leak your data. Here's why I built mine not to.
A popular porn-recovery app leaked 600,000 users' personal data in early 2026. Here's why that can't happen with Escape, in plain language.
Can a porn blocker see what I am searching? (a plain-language explanation)
If a porn blocker blocks sites, doesn't it have to see what you visit? Short answer is no. Long answer is this post. Plain language.
Why Escape does not ask for your email (and why most other apps do)
Most porn blockers ask for an email before they let you in. I built Escape so it does not. Here is why that one choice changes everything.
Your Brain on Porn, the book that finally said the quiet part out loud
A friend to friend review of Gary Wilson's Your Brain on Porn. From one regular guy to another, about a book that named the thing nobody talks about.
Atomic Habits, the book that fixed how I think about willpower
A friend to friend review of James Clear's Atomic Habits. Not a porn book, but the habits book. The one that made me stop trying to win the willpower fight.
Dopamine Nation, the more clinical version of what Wilson was saying
A short writeup on Anna Lembke's Dopamine Nation. The book a lot of people pair with Your Brain on Porn when they want the same idea explained by a doctor.
The Easy Peasy Method, the free book everyone on the porn quitting forums talks about
A short writeup on The Easy Peasy Method, the free PDF that gets passed around quitting communities. What it is, why people love it, why some people do not.
Porn-recovery apps in 2026 — what each one is good at
An honest look at the porn-recovery apps people use in 2026 — Brainbuddy, BlockerX, Covenant Eyes, Escape, Fortify, Quittr, Remojo. Who each one fits and what e…
Does porn rewire your brain? The honest answer
The 'rewires your brain' claim about porn is partially true and partially overstated. Here's what the research actually shows — and what it means for recovery.
Dopamine detox for porn recovery — what the science actually says
The 'dopamine detox' trend went mainstream via Huberman and Lembke. How does it relate to porn recovery? What's well-supported, what's oversimplified, and what …
Why cold-turkey-only recovery fails for most people
Cold-turkey-only — pure willpower against urges, no rituals, no environment changes — has worse outcomes than ritual-based approaches in the recovery literature…
Why public accountability often backfires in porn recovery
Posting your streak on Reddit. Announcing it publicly. The intuition is that public commitment creates pressure. The shame loop is often the catch.
Why shame-based motivation slows recovery (and what works)
Shame is the most common emotional engine in early porn recovery. The shame-research literature is consistent: shame predicts worse outcomes than guilt. What wo…
Why the 'high T / alpha mindset' framing misses the point
The viral porn-recovery framing — quitting boosts testosterone, unlocks 'alpha' status — gets both the mechanism and the marketing wrong. Here's why.
How to block apps on iPhone — the complete guide
Three real ways to block apps on iPhone — Apple Screen Time built-in, Focus modes, and dedicated blocker apps. What each does, what each misses, and how to comb…
A free, private streak counter for quitting porn
A free streak counter for iPhone that counts the days since you quit porn, shows them on a Home Screen widget, and keeps everything on your device. No account, …
Does porn cause erectile dysfunction? The honest answer
Does porn cause erectile dysfunction? The pattern is widely reported but research is mixed. What's true, what's hype, and what people in recovery actually exper…
Does porn affect relationships? An honest look at what changes
Does porn affect relationships? Yes — in real and well-documented ways. Divided attention, distorted expectations, intimacy decay. What changes, what doesn't, w…
Porn flatline: what it is, when it ends, what helps
The porn flatline is a period in early recovery when libido drops, mood goes flat, and ordinary pleasures feel muted. What it is, why it happens, how long it la…
The 90-day reboot: what's actually proven and what isn't
The 90-day reboot says 90 days of abstinence resets the brain. The number is community marketing, not clinical research. What's true, what's hype, what to expec…
What is NoFap? An honest review from a recovery-app team
NoFap is a recovery community for abstaining from porn and masturbation. It's helped many people; it's also developed culture issues that hurt some. Honest revi…
How common is porn use today? An honest look at the numbers
How widespread is porn use? Pornhub ranks in the world's top 10-15 sites. ~70% of US men 18-30 report monthly use. OnlyFans paid creators $5B+. The honest versi…
Why porn kills your motivation (and what comes back when you quit)
If your drive feels gone — at work, in relationships, with your partner, as a parent — and you watch porn, the connection isn't accidental. The science, the pat…
Porn and ambition: why your career stalls when porn use is structural
If your career has flatlined and you watch porn daily, the link is real. How structural porn use eats the marginal hour, decision fatigue, and what changes when…
How to talk to your partner about porn without it becoming a fight
The conversation no one wants — walked through carefully. When to bring it up, the opener that avoids defensiveness, what to listen for, three scripts.
My partner watches porn — what do I do?
If you've discovered your partner watches porn and don't know what to think — this is a careful guide. Whether it's a problem, what to say, what's beyond the re…
How to quit porn no matter your life situation
Quitting porn looks different in college vs marriage, after a breakup vs after a baby, while deployed vs working from home. A situational guide that links each …
How to block porn on iPhone — the complete guide
Three real ways to block porn on an iPhone — Apple Screen Time, DNS-level filtering, and Safari content blockers. What each does, what each misses, and how to c…
How to read an App Store privacy label in 5 minutes
Apple's App Store privacy label is the fastest privacy check on any app. The three sections explained, what each line really means, and the four red flags to lo…
How to set up Apple Screen Time to block porn — step by step
The full step-by-step Apple Screen Time setup for blocking adult websites in Safari, with the four common mistakes that cause it to fail and how to make the pas…
Why Apple Screen Time still lets some porn through — the gaps explained
Apple's Limit Adult Websites is not perfect. The five real gaps in the filter, why they exist, and what to combine Screen Time with to close them.
What to know about privacy before you install a porn-recovery app
Recovery apps handle some of the most sensitive data a phone can hold. A category-level guide on what to check, eight questions to ask, and what "on-device" act…
How to block porn in Chrome, Brave, and Firefox on iPhone
All third-party iPhone browsers run on Apple's WebKit, so the same blocking layers cover them. The five-minute walkthrough plus the one important exception.
On-device vs cloud: what each means for a porn-recovery app
Two ways an app stores your data — on your phone, or on a company's server. The difference, why it matters more for recovery apps, and how to tell which one an …
Is my husband's porn use a problem? 7 questions to ask
Not all porn use is a problem; some of it is. Seven specific questions to evaluate where your partner's use sits, with what answers point to a real concern.
Free porn blocker for iPhone, what's actually free in 2026
The porn blockers for iPhone that are genuinely free — no account, no trial, no upsell on the core feature. Apple Screen Time, NextDNS, and Escape's free Safari…
How to tell your partner you struggle with porn
Disclosure is one of the hardest parts of porn recovery. This guide walks through whether to tell at all, the timing, four scripts at different levels of detail…
Free porn blocker for iPad, what works and what's different from iPhone
iPad uses the same iOS frameworks as iPhone, so the free blocking layers all transfer — Apple Screen Time, NextDNS, and Escape's free Safari blocker. Plus the t…
Why account-required recovery apps are a privacy risk
If a recovery app forces you to create an account, your usage gets tied to your real identity. The four risks of account-based recovery apps, plus when an accou…
How to use Apple Family Sharing to block porn on a child's iPhone (or your own)
Family Sharing's Screen Time lets one device hold the passcode that controls another. The full setup for a child's iPhone, plus the use-it-on-yourself variant.
How much porn is too much? An honest framework
Frequency alone doesn't make porn a problem; impact does. A framework for partners trying to figure out where the line is for their specific relationship.
Late-night urges: why they hit hardest at 11pm and what to do
Why porn urges peak at night, the role of decision fatigue and cortisol, and a practical 5-step protocol for the moment you find yourself in bed with a phone yo…
Why Safari content blockers stop working — and how to fix it
Five common reasons a Safari content blocker stops blocking adult sites on iPhone — toggle reset, stale blocklist, conflicting blockers, lost DNS profile, cache…
Anonymous accountability: is it possible? An honest answer
Many people in recovery want accountability without giving up their privacy. The tension is real. Three options that work, and what each compromises.
How to set up NextDNS to block porn on iPhone
NextDNS is a free DNS filter that blocks adult content across every app, not just browsers. Step-by-step setup plus what to do if it stops working.
Porn recovery timeline: what changes hour by hour, week by week
What people in porn recovery commonly experience — hour by hour through week 1, then daily, weekly, and monthly through year one. Hedged where the science is ge…
What a Safari content blocker can — and can't — see
Safari content blockers on iPhone work in a way most users don't realize: the blocker app itself never sees what you browse. Here's how the API actually works, …
Why he won't stop watching porn (even after promising)
If he's promised to stop and hasn't, you're not crazy and he's not lying. The frame that explains promise-relapse cycles without excusing them.
Can a marriage survive porn? What research and lived experience say
Most marriages do survive porn discovery, but "survive" doesn't mean "return to how it was." Factors that predict repair vs rupture, and what survival looks lik…
Is porn cheating? How to think about this question
The question gets dismissed too quickly by people who haven't been on the other side of it. A framework for thinking about whether porn use crosses a line for y…
How to evaluate any recovery app's privacy in 10 minutes
A 10-minute checklist anyone can run on any porn-recovery app before installing it — what to read, what to look for, and how to spot the differences between pri…
Should I check his phone? The honest answer
The most-googled spouse question deserves a careful answer. Why you want to, what you might find, the legal and trust implications, what works better than monit…
Telemetry in recovery apps: what's reasonable, what isn't
Most apps send some kind of usage data back to the developer. For recovery apps, where the data is sensitive, what counts as reasonable telemetry vs an overstep…
When to leave: deal-breakers in a partner's porn use
This is your call, not anyone else's. But there are patterns that consistently signal a relationship beyond repair, and patterns that are recoverable. Honest ve…
How to quit porn in college (when you have no privacy and total privacy at the same time)
College has the worst possible recovery environment in some ways and the best in others. The specifics — dorm protocols, library tactics, social pressure, what …
How to quit porn while in a committed relationship
Quitting porn while in a committed relationship has a different shape than solo recovery. How to do it without breaking what you've built — with or without disc…
How to quit porn after a breakup (when the loneliness is loudest)
After a breakup is when most people relapse, and also when many people start trying to quit for real. The first two weeks survival kit, the relapse-risk window,…
How to quit porn after a baby is born
New fatherhood is both a strong motivator to quit and one of the most unstable recovery environments. Sleep deprivation, changed intimacy, no time. The honest g…
How to quit porn while traveling for work (hotel rooms, conferences, layovers)
Hotel rooms and conference downtime are designed almost perfectly for relapse. Pre-travel protocols, hotel-room kits, conference-week pacing — keep travel weeks…
How to quit porn during a job loss or career break
Unstructured days plus financial stress plus identity damage is one of the highest-relapse-risk life situations. The honest guide for keeping recovery on track …
How to quit porn during deployment
Deployment is one of the hardest situations for porn recovery. Privacy, loneliness, limited replacements, time. Specific guidance for service members trying to …
I quit porn — why am I still not motivated? The realistic answer
If you've quit and didn't get the motivation surge everyone promised, you're not alone. The honest counter-narrative — what quitting actually does and doesn't f…
How to quit porn while dating on apps
Dating-app use and porn use share a lot of the same dopamine mechanics. How to date during recovery without making the dating itself the new compulsion.
Why pursuing women feels different after you quit porn
The conversation you didn't start, the woman you didn't ask out — the structural cost of porn on willingness to pursue. What changes in week 2-3 of recovery.
Why your desire points at a screen, not your partner — the motivation problem
If your desire feels stronger toward porn than toward your partner, the wiring is changeable. What's happening, the timeline for desire to come back, what helps…
The motivation surge in week 2-3 — what's actually happening
Many people in recovery describe a wave of energy and ambition starting around day 10-14. What it is, why it can be misleading, how to channel it.
Why porn makes you lazy (and why "lazy" is the wrong word)
If you call yourself lazy and watch a lot of porn, the laziness might be the symptom not the cause. What's actually happening, what to call it instead, what hel…
Why showing up as a dad gets harder when porn is structural
If your kids notice you're "there but not there," porn use is one common cause. What it costs, what changes when you quit, the energy that comes back.
On the 11pm room — and why most porn-recovery apps don't get there
There is a specific state — 11pm, Tuesday, quiet house, phone in hand. Most apps for quitting porn never get there. Notes on what kind of app actually meets you…
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